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| It's been about 3-4 weeks now that I've seen her last... I mean really seen her.... It gets depressing thinking about it... Five years with someone and now its up in the air... I highly doubt it's gonna work... I don't think its because I don't want to try anymore, but rather I don't see how it's going to start back up... We may go through months without seeing each other... and not ever having each other around... I just don't see it... I know its needed, but why this way....? Is there no desire to see one another? If so, then this isn't something worth holding on to... Especially going through these past couple of weeks with my injury and immobility... Its sucking balls right now, let's just say that... I really don't know what I wanna say from this... I hate this situation, but I've loved her for so long that I don't know how to quit... I guess its also time to quit another thing in my life... Man!!! It just sucks my true love is on her side... Should I get a dog...? Hehe! =-P
In response to Fang's comment telling me to just get a dog.... You've obviously have not seen my dog Holly... The cutest thing in my life... is now taken away from me..... Bah.... Here's a picture to show you what i've lost...
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| It's been a LONG LONG LONG time since I've found the time to write more blogs. Maybe its partially due to what's been going on for the past year and a half. Some of you know what happened and some don't, but if you guys don't mind I like to keep this private and not discuss what happened. Let's just say I'm starting anew. May be coming out of a 5 year relationship. Just really not sure where me and Fibee are heading so... Looking to get my life straight and stable. Hopefully, all works out and I can find a new inspiration in my life to help me through these next couple o' months. Lata guys!
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| Man I'm glad that my mom and bro are coming back... It will be so much better to have people around and atleast be a lil "re nao." It's been kinda dead when my friends aren't here at my house and it's just me in my lil small lot of home I have... I very much appreciate my friends for helping me go through this rough time of adjusting to life without a certain someone. But more and more I realize I need to try to move on even tho my actions keep going to wanting to be with her. Not actually able to be with her... I don't know why I bother with serious relationships tho... There's so much to lose and so little to gain... Why put my self on the table to get bashed at my evil females... sigh... watevas... lata
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|  | Currently Listening
Still Fantasy
By Jay Chou
2. Listen To Ma Ma's Words, 5. Retreat, 10. Chrysanthemum Flowerbed.
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Well guys~! I'm feeling a lot better now...Don't really get that bothered anymore by Fibee's actions or lifestyle... Which is a good thing... I've spent too many months depressed, even though you guys may not have seen it... but now imma start a new in the new year of the pig~!!! My Year~!!! hahaha~!!! hopefully my life will be turning around now... i've accomplished all I wanted to do since I got back 1) lose weight- 65 lbs to be exact~! NICE~!!! was really too overweight in China...2) get straight A's in school- only 3 classes in two semesters, but hopefully its a start of something that will stick for the remainder of my educational journey... 3) Find a good job- I feel I have a really great job... though it may keep me up at night thinking about it and worrying about it... I think its worth it... It's fun!
I have all the ingredients to have a full and happy life... Just lacking someone special to share it with now... but its okay I'm not in a rush!  I'm kinda happy staying single... chillin' with my friends, laughin' it up, just enjoying the good times... I really wish I coulda saw through all of this earlier... It's not that I didn't love her, but it is much better this way... having distance... It has given me the time I needed to straighten out my life and begin on the road to success... I just hope this success can continue... Wells that's about it... Anyone and everyone who wanna come out and catch up or just chill out gimme a call~! take carez everyone~!
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| Have you ever taken the time to stop in your life and read your old xanga posts? I did last night... I can't believe how different things are now compared to back in the day... The feelings we have towards other people and relationships we held on to and the relationships we lost... It's amazing how complicated humans are... More and more I'm starting to realize is that there's no point in trying to figure someone else out... They will do what they truly want and there's nothing in the world that we can do to change that... My situation is a prime example... No matter how much i try to make this one person change... she won't... What's the point in that? If it's meant to be, it will happen... These days I'm trying my hardest to not get emotionally involved in ANYTHING anymore... It's just not worth it... All humans are selfish and will always do what's best for themselves... If views between the two people are different, then things won't work out. If they are the same, things will work out until one person changes... I'm not sure I believe if there's only one person out there for me anymore... Maybe it's more like "there's one person out there for me at this moment in time, until we move on..." Maybe its the lack of faith I have in love these days or that I'm just a lil' bruised up right now to really think straight... Please make your comments... I would love to hear what everyone thinks about this. Take cares everyone. Nite. | | |
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